Celebrations to celebrate Transgender Day are back
to Santa Barbara
Santa Barbara Transgender Advocacy Network
5th annual event held
at the Unitarian Society on Saturday
Callie Forsey | | Photo by Ingrid Bostrom
April 4, 2023
When Kathy Abad’s son came out as transgender at age 14, she didn’t know what to do. Not that there were handbooks on how to parent a transgender child or many accessible examples to follow. There were certainly no events.
“We didn’t know anything,” Abbado said. “I felt like I was the only person in the world with a transgender child. I feel so isolated, lonely and helpless.”
But she and her husband wanted to learn.they turned to PFLAG SANTA BARBARAis a non-profit advocacy and support group for parents, families and friends of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. At her first PFLAG conference, which Abad attended eight years ago, she was introduced to her three other parents with transgender children.
From there they Santa Barbara Transgender Advocacy Network (SBTAN) is a special support group for transgender youth families in Santa Barbara. Abad said it’s important for parents to educate themselves so they know how to navigate the transition process with their children, but this varies from person to person.
“Then when I started learning and my husband started learning, we started learning brick by brick what it meant to be transgender and what it meant to truly embrace it…within a few months this power came. ,” explained Abad. Her own transformation into her “fierce parent” advocating for her own child.
“I mean, I go to the store and say, ‘How are your son and daughter? Anyway, how are you doing?”
Over the past eight years, the SBTAN Support Group has grown and now includes trans-affirmation training for organizations and schools throughout the three-county area. Santa Barbara Transgender Center, Lisa’s Place. and other local events.
In 2016, SBTAN hosted the county’s first recognized celebration of Internationally Recognized Transgender Day (TDOV) on March 31st. Trans flag pastel blue and pink. Exhibition featuring artwork by Santa Barbara-based transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming artists. A table providing resources and information from PFLAG and Planned Parenthood.
Lillian Simmons, President of SBTAN, said Transgender Visibility Day is part of Transgender Remembrance Day, a day to recognize and commemorate transgender people who have lost their lives in transphobic violence. I described it as being like the “back side”.
“But death is not the only transgender experience,” Simmons said. “The trance experience is life itself. It’s about vibrancy. It’s about joy.
One of the well-crafted multimedia books on display at the art exhibition the name monster By UCSB Art Student Parker Graham. The book describes the anxiety, frustration, and grief that come with people referring to individuals by their dead name (the name they used before the transition) rather than by their adopted name. Everyday life.
Simmons explained that it is important for transgender youth to be an understanding and supportive presence in their lives as they deal with their own emotions associated with the transition. That’s the main reason it’s been so helpful.
“Parents have a lot of emotions about what’s going on,” Simmons said. Being able to share those feelings with someone else can be very helpful, because your child is the only one who knows this fact.You are not the one who should process all the emotions of a parent.”
The Unitarian Society was set up on Saturday as a safe and festive venue for transgender and non-binary individuals, families, and allies, with a “love crew” of congregation members stationed around the venue, providing approximately Protected 50 attendees.
“I think people tend to wonder … how many transgender or non-binary people are there in the world,” Simmons said. If it’s someone you know, it changes if it’s someone you love. It gets very personal. It’s something very different. I see things differently. ”
Simmons’ child is non-binary, and after giving birth, she explained that she began to realize that “every form lacks a third box.”
“Plus, you haven’t explained who the child is, so you literally can’t fill out the paperwork. When you open your eyes, you see it everywhere, and I think you really start to understand.”
PFLAG board member Steven Mitchell has been critical of transgender visibility and transgender visibility, especially following the theft and arson of pride flags in the Santa Ynez Valley and the repainting of the rainbow crosswalk at Santa Ynez High. He explained that promoting and supporting safety is important.Rejection of Pride Banners at Schools, Solvang, and The Rise of Anti-Transgender Discrimination and Rhetoric Nationally, following the March 27 shooting at a Christian school in Nashville.
Mitchell said he is the father of a 19-year-old transgender and a 15-year-old nonbinary. He hails from a conservative family in Phoenix, Arizona, and his past contact with the LGBTQ community has been largely viewed in a negative light.
Like Abbado, Mitchell wanted to support his children, but didn’t know how. He said that by meeting other parents going through the same thing, he was able to learn how to be an advocate and ally for his children when faced with families he didn’t understand. .
“The best way I can help my children and their future is by educating other people about them,” Mitchell said. I’m just trying to make them understand that it’s not a “death sentence”. It needs to be something you work on, grow, advocate for, and educate people so that ignorance will go away. ”
Eight years after SBTAN was founded, Abad’s son is now 23 years old. Since he first came out at the age of 14, he and his mother have had a shared, separate journey in navigating parenthood.
“Once parents use the proper pronouns, they cut their hair, dress them how they want, give them whatever names they want,” Abbado said. For example, see how your child feels.
