Jim DeVenezia noted the cultural shift in victim advocacy when Maricopa announced the National Crime Victim Rights Week proclamation at the city council on April 18.

Gone are the days of “if you just put up with it, it can happen to anyone”. It’s over,’ said De Venezia, her specialist for Community Support at the Maricopa Police Department.

The movement to believe in victims, remove the obstacles they face to justice, and make their voices heard is part of the purpose of National Crime Victim Rights Week. Certified by the Department of Justice’s Office of Crime Victims every April since 1981.

The theme for the week of 2023 was to highlight survivor voices and create environments where they can be heard and supported. To understand that, InMaricopa spoke with two of her leaders in her local awareness community on domestic violence and shared her experience finding a voice to help others in abusive environments.

“I am an abuse survivor”

Tessa Milne is CEO survivor’s face And spent much of her life surrounded by abuse.

“I grew up in an abusive home and got into an abusive relationship in my early twenties,” she said.

According to Arizona statistics, 42% of women and 33% of men have experienced some form of intimate partner violence. National Coalition Against Domestic ViolenceMore than 1 in 15 children are exposed to this type of violence and 90% witness the abuse.

For Milne, that abuse included forcing silence, which affected her emotional state.

“We grew up without voices,” she said. “We were told not to talk about the abuse.

After she left an abusive relationship and started group therapy, Milne began her journey to find her voice.

“One day, I decided to look in the mirror every day and say, ‘I’m a survivor,'” she said. “I used to do it every day, but one day I decided to say, ‘Because I’m a survivor.'”

Adding the word “because” to her daily mantra created a deeper meaning, allowing her to see progress and heal from trauma.

“One day, I looked in the mirror and thought, ‘This is what a survivor looks like.’ I am the face of a survivor.”

Through her organization, Face of a Survivor, Milne now works to spread awareness about the impact of domestic violence and bullying.

“Many victims don’t have immediate access to resources,” says Milne. i didn’t have them. I didn’t know what was there when I was a victim…somebody wants to see you succeed. Many victims don’t know it. ”

‘You are taught not to speak, not to trust.”

Tiffany Mensah, Founder and Executive Director dubs networkalso grew up in an abusive household.

“I saw my father abuse my mother,” she said. “My mother ran away for her safety many times until I divorced her father when I was 17.”

Like Milne, Mensah felt lacking in voice in the process of growing up, and that impression continued even after escaping an abusive environment.

“You are taught not to speak, not to trust, not to feel,” she said. “I felt alone and alone. I felt forgotten, like I was unwanted.

Seeing themselves as “collateral damage” is a result of adults believing that children who are not the primary subject of abuse are less susceptible.

“Everyone had sympathy for my mother, but they didn’t show me the same sympathy or empathy, so I took action,” Mensah said. I remember different people telling me, “You’ve got to get over it. Your mother has been through this and you have no problems.”

But statistics prove otherwise. According to Arizona, he witnesses domestic violence by one or more of her children every 44 minutes. Maricopa County Attorney’s OfficeThese kids are three times more likely Because they may see domestic violence as normal, they are at greater risk of engaging in violent behavior than their peers and later becoming abusers and victims.

Mensah saw that cycle continue in his relationships as a teenager.

“I had my first domestic violence relationship when I was a teenager, and I didn’t know abuse could be more than just physical violence.” I dealt with stalking, I thought all these layers were proof of love, but I didn’t have the knowledge to recognize it.

Today, Mensah strives to empower and support teens through the DOVES Network, which stands for Daily Overcoming Violence and Embracing Safety.

“I want them to know that they are listening, that they are not forgotten, and that healing is possible.” It was important to be able to.”

Additional resources for people experiencing domestic violence in Maricopa include: