Interns are not necessarily annoying.
They typically have youthful bickering about college life, ambitions to steal our jobs, and political candidate-hungry tweets. But in some cases, giving an intern a chance to do something useful can actually pay off.
That was last night at Jefferson Field in downtown Washington, D.C., where the defending champion Daily Caller Expanded Universe softball team took to the field for their fourth game of the season against The Land Corporation. It happened sometimes.
The matchup was crucial to the playoff standings, with the Lands going 1-1 and the Callers going 2-1 in the Whig Division, both losing 3-0 to the Center for American Progress. The Kohlers had a vacancy in their batting lineup, so they went to the famous bullpen and brought out a few interns for the game.
The game started in a mixed race, with neither team able to lead by more than a point or two in the first six innings. Slog naturally likes the type of swamp creature that works in the superstore of the military-industrial complex known as the Rand Corporation, and Thinktanker is the qualifier of DCNF Editor Graham Dudley and DCNF Editor-in-Chief Graham Dudley. Despite high outfield defense, he took an 8-7 lead through the seventh inning. Video Goon Noah Pincus keeps things tight.
Things got worse for the caller before it got better. With two outs in the top of the seventh, the policy analyst, who probably helped with the bombing of Syrian airfields in 2017, added another three-run nuke to his résumé, boosting Rand’s lead to 12-7. Things seemed to be crumbling for Kohlers, with the bottom of the seventh inning and their offense stagnating. (Related: Daily Caller lashes out at DCNF at annual office football game)
But the America-loving journalists pulled off a miraculous upset by scoring six goals on target to win 13-12 and extend their season record to 3-1. Intern Matthew secured a walk-off line drive over left field to decide the game. It was the last of several quality appearances. Intern Ireland, who had previously said, “I can’t play softball because I’m left-handed,” continued the rally with one of the three hits of the day, and Jack, an intern, also hit a few hits. DCNF defensive reporter Mikaela Burrow also made the decisive sacrifice in the first inning in her softball debut.
The Kohlers will soon return to play against the American Enterprise Institute and have a chance to secure their fourth win of the season and secure an early playoff spot.
