Note: This is a satirical piece.

Regardless of what you think about either candidate, only one has been found mentally competent to stand trial: Trump. And he stood trial in the face of a legal war onslaught from the Democratic Party.

Robert Hur, the special counsel at the Justice Department investigating Biden's handling of classified documents, has concluded that the president is too elderly and incompetent to stand trial.

So in America, what do we do if the Department of Justice says that a person is not sober enough to stand trial for a crime that he clearly committed? We put that person up for president. In most cases, it would be elder abuse.

Memory loss is real. My partner is 11 years younger than me. On a date on Saturday, I told her that if my cognitive decline led to dementia, she would leave me alone. She told me that this was the fourth time that night that I had said that.

The media is telling us that what we are seeing with our own eyes is not true. In fact, the Biden campaign has had 51 people from the mainstream media sign a letter saying that Biden is the right person, a “real tag team,” and that what we see in his video clips “bears all the signs of Russian disinformation.”

Karine Jean-Pierre instructed her reporters to call live footage of Biden roaming the G7 meeting and being recalled by the Italian prime minister a “cheap fake,” and she seemed proud that her team coined the term and told the media to use it. And they did.

Yes, we saw Biden walk away in disarray, which caused anxiety in the world community. At one point, the G7 was the G6. But don't worry, he has the nuclear codes.

KJP and his Hollywood friends all agree that Biden won't freeze on stage. Ole Joe was just auditioning for the next role in the movie series “Frozen 4.” He will be competing against Mitch McConnell for the role.

They can't risk leaving Joe out, so the Democrats continue their Deep State legal battle against Trump. They are listening carefully to Trump during the debates, and if he overpronounces the word “China” one more time, the Democrat-controlled Senate Judiciary Committee will hold a hearing.

Biden is an empty vessel at the mercy of the left. He needs to be propped up when he needs it. He is their “Bernie Weekend” agent. Otherwise, lifelong Democrat politicians will need to get a proper job. John Steinbeck is right when he said, “Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts…maybe it's the fear of losing power that corrupts.”

Biden's incompetence has limited him in many ways and it will only get worse. He can barely campaign. He doesn't draw crowds at all. He can't even go to FEMA disaster sites anymore to donate tax money because he gets chased by the cadaver dogs working there.

Trump is campaigning on solving the real problems Biden has created: immigration, inflation and the incompetence of the current administration.

Biden cannot campaign on his own record, he must campaign on the “extravagant beliefs” of limousine liberals: climate change, diversity, abortion, white supremacy, none of which are real issues.

This narrative that only Democrats can save the world by mandating electric cars is getting tiring, as we fly around the world on government jets. We conservatives care about the environment and the outdoors far more than Democrats do, because we hunt and golf and fish. Liberals drink the occasional latte outside a trendy Brooklyn coffee shop.

The electric cars that Democrats have been pushing with taxpayer incentives are a disaster. report They say driving a car away from the dealership can cause it to lose 50% of its value. versus Gasoline is at 10%. EV manufacturers are going bankrupt. Ford announces they will lose $100,000 per EV. Ok, Ford, here's my proposal: I won't buy the EV, and we'll split the $100,000.

I care a lot about saving energy, so the other day I saw a row of electric cars all plugged in, but no one was using them so I unplugged them to save electricity. Not all heroes wear capes.

Biden had 16 people helping him prepare for the debate: eight who were Biden organizers and eight who were visiting angels.

How will Biden be able to get up and speak for an hour and a half in the future if the need arises? It depends.

Ron Hart is a libertarian editorial humorist, award-winning author, and frequent TV and radio guest. He can be reached at Ron@RonaldHart.com or on Twitter @RonaldHart.

The views and opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official position of the Daily Caller.