Exploring the “Performance Man” Phenomenon
The recent discourse around what people are calling the “performance man” seems to be gaining traction, with some unexpected bipartisan interest.
The New York Times recently posed the question, “How do you find a man who is ‘performance’?” They suggest a simple answer: “Find a tote bag.”
This image conjures a man who enjoys “books by female artists, matcha lattes, and Love Bus dolls.” The Love Bus, a charming Chinese toy, is now seen as a signifier of “softness, stylishness, and possibly some feminist traits,” according to the NYT. And then, there’s that underlying issue: is the NYT just implying these men are, well, “gay”?
Someone explain to me what the performance man is and why he drinks Clero and matcha.
– Cairo Smith (@cairoasmith) August 8, 2025
The performance man, it seems, curates his image to appeal to progressive women. Ah, the delightful irony of catering to liberal sentiments. Masculine figures are labeled toxic, while those who lean into more fluid expressions are deemed “performative.”
Interestingly, on TikTok, videos tagged with #performativemale have amassed over 28 million views, and those under #performatives have racked up a staggering 149 million views.
It appears some men are even embracing the label. They playfully poke fun at themselves, aware that such a label can have a lasting impact. During concerts, some have humorously declared themselves as “the new breed of male manipulators with performances.” It’s a curious scene; a politician once quipped about being a “man who performs peak during the campaign.” What a thought—can you really perform masculinity?
Performance man is TikTok’s biggest red flag pic.twitter.com/yqvmjhchku
– Comments Section (@commentsSection) August 7, 2025
This label seems to breathe new life into the phenomenon of “male feminists,” who often engage in what some refer to as transparent sexual strategies. There appears to be a degree of backlash against these “performance men,” particularly from liberal women caught in the paradox of their stated preferences.
One interviewee summed it up nicely: “We’re trying to coordinate with women and show that ‘I’m a good person.'” Yet, yes, the traditional methods of displaying worth seem somewhat obsolete in today’s liberal circles.
Support from men for liberal causes can be seen as irritating. “Female men” face the same criticism. They may deserve to be called out, but not for failing to meet the constantly shifting expectations of feminist thought leadership. Liberal women seem to seek masculine traits in everything but one aspect—though even that might soon be blurred with the rise of “Transman.”
So what’s the way forward? Perhaps it’s time for compassion to take a backseat. For those identified as performance men, there might still be time to rethink those choices, even something as simple as washing off the nail polish.
