Daily Caller co-founder Tucker Carlson is facing a major career change, and it's going to be nothing short of mind-blowing.
Carlson said Old Row announced Tuesday that it would launch its own nicotine pouches to compete with Zyn, a popular product owned by tobacco giant Philip Morris International Co. Carlson, a longtime enthusiast of Lower Decks' Zynachino, said he's ditching the pouches altogether after Philip Morris owners, employees and others paid him $18,200. Donated This election it's Kamala Harris. (Click here to sign up for Mr. Right's weekly newsletter)
clock:
Did Tucker Carlson break up with Z**? 👀 pic.twitter.com/ks730gM0o9
— Old Row (@OldRowOfficial) September 17, 2024
The ALP Pouch website is currently LiveThe company is apparently releasing two new flavors in November, 6mg Chilled Mint and Mountain Wintergreen, both of which sound delicious, and each can apparently contains 20 packets instead of Zyn's 15.
“The all-new nicotine pouches from Tucker Carlson. ALP satisfies and frees your mind. At ALP, we believe in better times,” the website reads.
This is hands down the best news I've heard this week, this month, this year. Tucker is releasing nicotine pouches? Hearing that is as good as hearing the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Last minute guitar solo I heard “Wet Sand” for the first time and it made me want to run shirtless through a cinderblock wall.
Philip Morris individuals and PACs Donate to the Democratic Party And then there's Harris, whose running mate, Tim Walz, tried to tax nicotine packs by 95% while governor of Minnesota — another example of big business foolishly ignoring its core consumer base, which tends to be white, male and conservative. (Related: Tim Waltz Endorses Free Needles, Legalizes Marijuana, and Goes to War with Zyn)
Tucker has previously been a defender of gin and was even seen criticizing it before a speech at the 204 RNC. During an interview with comedian Theo Fong in 2023, Carlson shook up the medical community by claiming that gin could cure erectile dysfunction and increase male sexual performance. (Related article: Tucker Carlson reveals the one substance that can save American men in the bedroom. It rhymes with “Sin.”)
Tucker Carlson and Theo Von talk about Jin's erection pic.twitter.com/mNHYbLRKeB
— Dylan Housman (@Dylan_Housman) October 31, 2023
Scoop Delacroix of the Daily Caller testified to the power of gin in a glowing column after the interview was published.
I tried it on Madame Delacroix, and while I have no scientific credentials, I fully agree with Carlson's scientific findings. One puff of citrusy Carl Gin leaves you feeling relaxed and confident. “180 yards to the pin? I'll give it the nine.” You're aggressive, but charismatic… If you spit 6mg of spearmint before she gets you drunk at her house, you'll be tougher than Brock Landers in “Angels in My Town.”
But with Carlson's new product on the market, that may be changing. The Philip Morris empire may be crumbling before our eyes. Boycotts are on the horizon. It may not be gin that saves the American man in bed, but ALP.
Stay tuned, and sign up for my weekly newsletter for more APL product reviews coming in November. (Click here to sign up for Mr. Right's weekly newsletter)
