Nicole Kidman has revealed that she suffered a major self-doubt after filming the erotic thriller 'Babygirl'.
In an interview with Vanity Fair's August 26 issue, she candidly spoke about how she felt while filming the explicit scenes. “I was exhausted,” the 57-year-old star told the magazine. Kidman stars alongside Harris Dickinson and Antonio Banderas in the film, playing a business executive who has an affair with an intern at her company. Banderas plays her husband in the film.
“At a certain point, I was like, 'I don't want to be touched.' I don't want to do this anymore, but at the same time, I had to,” Kidman said.
“Babygirl” is directed by Halina Raine and will have its global release at the Venice Film Festival, and Kidman said she relied heavily on Raine to help her get through some of the most graphic scenes.
“Halina hugged me and I hugged her, because it was such a shock to me,” she told Vanity Fair.
She said she is still in a state of uncertainty, even though filming wrapped up months ago.
“It's like, wow, I'm doing this and it's actually going to be seen by the world,” Kidman said.
NEW YORK, NY – JANUARY 21: Nicole Kidman attends the New York Premiere of Prime Video's “The Expats” at the Museum of Modern Art on January 21, 2024. (Photo by John Nasion/WireImage) Getty Images
She expressed the constant conflict between taking pride in her craft and exposing her most vulnerable self.
“It's a very strange feeling. It's like something you hide on home video. It's not something that would normally be released to the public,” Kidman told Vanity Fair.
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA – MARCH 12: Nicole Kidman attends the 95th Academy Awards Ceremony on March 12, 2023 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Mike Coppola/Getty Images)
Though she gave her all to the role and accepted all that was asked of her, the nature of the scenes left Kidman feeling exposed in many ways.
“I felt so vulnerable as an actor, as a woman and as a person,” she said.
LOS ANGELES, CA – DECEMBER 06: Nicole Kidman attends the Los Angeles premiere of Amazon Studios' film 'Being the Ricardos' at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on December 6, 2021 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Axel/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic) Getty Images
The doubts are so strong that she hasn't seen the film yet. Kidman said she just isn't ready to see herself in the same light that audiences will see her.
“I had to go in and out, like I had to put birth control back on. What did I do? Where did I go? What did I do?” she told Vanity Fair.
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – DECEMBER 20: Nicole Kidman attends a special screening of the film 'The Expats' at the Palace Verona on December 20, 2023 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Brendon Thorn/Getty Images)
The famous actress admitted that she is still not sure if she will be able to watch the film during the premiere. (Related article: Famous actress Victoria Justice talks about her experience filming her first sex scene)
“I've done some pretty revealing films but never anything like this,” she said.
