The next morning on the plane to Sedona, I couldn't help but feel like this trip was made possible by my mother's will. I had heard great things about Mii Amo, a spa at Relais & Châteaux nestled among the towering red rocks of Boynton Canyon. Their wellness “journeys” (ranging from 3 to 10 nights and include all food and beverages, fitness and wellbeing classes, plus generous daily spa credits) include death, divorce, medical exams, etc. , has a reputation for helping people at difficult crossroads. I had booked a three-night trip with her older sister Michelle, who was also dealing with the demands of motherhood and career as well as the impending death of her close friend's mother (of course). Her own grief for Sheila resurfaced). It was the first time since my child was born that I was able to travel alone. It's an opportunity to work through the pain together as sisters, just like we did after the accident.
As our chauffeured car began the long drive, a rust-colored adobe building appeared among the ponderosa pines. The team greeted us with warm hugs and handmade juniper bead necklaces. Juniper beads are said to ward off negative energy and bring good luck in Native American tradition. I clung fiercely to the rough wooden beads as I walked to the reception area. But as my gaze reflexively rose to the magnificent plateau surrounding us, my anxious anticipation melted into a nurturing calm. It was as if the valley itself was engulfing us. I loosened my grip.
As soon as we settled into our first-floor suite, a whitewashed oasis of serenity complete with a gas fireplace, soaking tub, and private terrace, Michelle and I separated for the first treatments of our respective trips. Determined to rely on Mii Amo's spiritual offerings (despite my Type A skepticism), I met my practitioner, Adrian, for a 60-minute Reiki session. We spent the first few minutes chatting in the comfortable treatment room. I shared my intentions for this trip. Healing from her mother's death, reuniting with her sister, and finding a better balance as a working mother. As Adrian moved his hands over my limbs and channeled the energy, blockages and tension became apparent. Fighting back tears, I revealed what was weighing heavily on my heart. It was an overwhelming feeling of guilt for leaving my children behind to go on a work trip. The selfishness of transferring her care to her busy husband. I wondered how I could even be a successful mother when I still so longed for one of my own.
“What I'm asking is,” Adrian replied.am I enough?? ” I nodded in agreement. “The fact that you're here and taking the time to work and focus proves that you are,” he said. “Try saying to yourself in your mind's eye: I'm enough.”
When I closed my eyes, I felt my core become hollow. It seems like a farce, but I admitted.
Adrian encouraged again. At this moment, I've had enough.So I leaned into that discomfort and gave myself space for self-exploration and healing. Adrian cradled my head weightlessly in his palm and led me through a series of meditations. As I repeated the mantra in my mind, I felt an uplifting, occult feeling, a palpable release of guilt and self-doubt. After my treatment, I reunited with Michelle in his floor-to-ceiling glass relaxation lounge. As I sat on a soft upholstered lounger and gazed out at towering red rocks, perfectly placed succulents, and a freestanding bird feeder that was briefly visited by hummingbirds, I felt a deep sense of relaxation. .
