Has the news media moratorium been lifted yet? Since you’re reading this, I guess that’s the silent question. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for stepping back into the frenzied news swamp after the second worst election in history.
I know it’s not easy. Like you, I’m tired of analyzing how he won and why she lost. In fact, I’m writing this with my eyes closed because I might veer off into an essay on why we’re doomed.
For at least 50% of people who went out of their way to vote, watching the news after the election is painful. Half of us were hoping we wouldn’t repeat the failure of the Trump presidency the first time around. Tariffed toilet paper costs $10 a roll, and lettuce is sold by the leaf. That’s because there are only 10 documented workers left in the country to harvest lettuce. The other half of America will feel the pain later.
Those mourning the election won’t find much solace in their news feeds, but there are other things that can save us for now. It’s the absurdist humor font created by President Trump. It’s the only way I can continue to work and remain a functioning human being.
Check out the clown car full of minions and allies the president-elect has amassed in his bid for the top spot. SpaceX CEO Elon Musk and entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy, two very stable figures, will lead the new Ministry of Government Efficiency. The fabricated roles allow them to brainstorm ways to shrink the government and the budget until Mr. Musk gets bored and decides it’s time to become president.
Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz is a candidate for attorney general, given that he has been embroiled in a sex-trafficking investigation by the Department of Justice, the department he would oversee if he became attorney general. It was a complete coincidence. The investigation ended without charges being filed. He is also under scrutiny by the House Ethics Committee over allegations of sexual misconduct. How on-brand for Trump, a convicted rapist.
microphone “There really is no such thing as Palestinians” Mr. Huckabee is appointed ambassador to Israel. You can actually taste the sweet nectar of Middle East peace created by this decision.
Former “Fox & Friends” co-host Pete Hegseth was chosen as Secretary of Defense. The veteran’s credentials include regularly co-hosting Fox’s annual New Year’s Eve Countdown. There is no one better suited to oversee the Pentagon than someone with Countdown experience. “5, 4, 3, 2…”
See how funny it is? This is definitely tears of laughter.
If President Trump’s first term is any indicator, the next four years will be an unrelenting mess of infighting, corruption, revolving door staff, cheap demands, and fragile egoism. Such chaos is bad for democracy, but it also makes for some horribly funny memes. hashtagsketch, political satire. I know that’s not much consolation, but it’s better than terrible in these dark times.
Musk and Trump’s sycophantic relationship has spawned numerous jokes in multiple media outlets. It was strange to see him grinning in a photo of the Trump family at Mar-a-Lago on election night, but it was made even stranger by the fact that Melania wasn’t in the photo.
CNN commentator Ana Navarro joked that Musk would assume the title of first lady. A bromance breaks out between Musk and Trump clever meme It’s about how long a relationship can tolerate both men’s desire to be in charge.
Late-night host Jimmy Kimmel took it a step further on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” According to Kimmel, Musk is busy “choosing what President Trump will wear.” “He’s putting bronzing cream on his face. Cute couple. Watch out, Melania, Trump has a new exploiter named Elonia Musk.”
Musk and Kimmel have been grappling with the issue since last week, when the Tesla CEO called the comedian an “intolerable nonsense propaganda puppet.” “You bought Twitter,” Kimmel responded. “You bought a social media platform that is literally a propaganda machine.”
on tuesday “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” The host targeted senators appointed by President Trump. marco rubiowas elected to the post of Secretary of State.
Colbert pointed to the long-standing and controversial relationship between the two men. During the 2016 primaries, Mr. Rubio mocked Mr. Trump’s masculinity. “You know what they say about men with small hands.” President Trump has mocked Rubio’s height for years, calling him “Little Marco.”
But like most Republicans, Rubio eventually kissed the ring. “If you spend years insulting Donald Trump, you can get back into his good graces just by praising him,” Colbert said on the show. “That’s why I want to take this opportunity to say to our new president-elect…” Colbert then looked straight into the camera and said, “Pass.”
There is no need for a framework for President Trump’s announcement of his newly created position, “border czar.” He’s interesting on his own, in the sense of a comic book villain. Trump used the title during his campaign against Vice President Kamala Harris. It was meant to cast her as a communist, socialist, or…some kind of threat. His name is now ironically given to his new appointee, former U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Director Thomas Homan.
No one knows exactly what this role will entail, and given the instability of the next president, it’s doubtful that Mr. Homan will live long enough to show us. We know that as ICE Director he oversaw the separation of families who dared to cross the border in search of a safer and better life. He locked up the children.
There’s nothing interesting about it. I will never forget such cruelty, but I will seek out humor when necessary in my struggle to remain engaged. It is absurd that we can rely on the Trump administration.
